You can't control me

I wrote this piece when I was newly recovered from my eating disorder and I felt on top of the world. Healing is possible. You can recover. If you or anyone you know is struggling with an eating disorder-please get help. You can go to www.neda.com for some amazing free resources.

You used to invade my every thought

You used to control my every action

Everything I did, I did for you

I never got a thanks, just a throbbing body

I never felt loved, just ashamed

You made me feel safe in all the wrong ways

It was a prison in disguise

It was a never ending fall into space

My life was turned upside down by you

I have days where I’m still angry at you

Though I know I need to forgive

Mostly, though

I am free of the burden you gave me

I am free of the constant stress on my body

Each day is a day that gets better

Each day, I am in control, not you

Not anymore

I never thought I would be able to get to this place

Thought I would be chained in forever

But today is a day

Where I can finally say

I am released

Like any pain poetry piece, this was written in the depths of despair. I held onto the piece until I was healed from this particular pain. While I'm not perfectly healed, I would never post anything like this if I was still enduring these feelings. If you need help, reach out to a friend. Call someone. Call for help. Call anyone you can trust.